Tuesday, February 8

'The' Indian equivalent of the Oscars

So what was new at the Indian equivalent of the Oscars? Ranbir and Imran are better hosts, Rekha(Jee) has a great voice and Gulzar Saab has the ability to keep things simple. Apart from this, everything was pretty much the same. How? You might ask.....here's how!

SRK looked stressed out. Dietary restrictions for Ra.One are taking a toll. Plus a realization that he is widely disliked in Kolkata and might not be number one ever again.

Aishwarya looked plastic, spoke in English(surprise surprise) and turned even more plasticky while presenting an award to Madhuri.

Yash Chopra said something which no one understood.

Priyanka Chopra did a Madhuri medley and spoke without an accent.

Madhuri spoke with an accent. Which surprisingly, is nowhere in sight when she appears on Jhalak Dikhla Jaa.

Arbaaz was found sitting with a smile throughout the show wondering - What the hell did I do right that Dabangg became such a blockbuster? I will tell you Arbaaz. The one thing you did right in life is dating Malaika. Hold on to her!

Shatrughan and Poonam Sinha were sitting in the front row trying hard to hide their Oh-I-am-so-proud-of-my-daughter-bit. It's become kind of a ritual. Every year some filmy family, some new debut and some tears for their child's 'hard work'.

A jury consisting of eminent people from the industry could not decide which one is better? Munni or Sheila. So they gave it to both. In order to please both Farah and Salman!

Best Actor Critics award went to no one from Peepli or Udaan but Rishi Kapoor for Do Dooni Chaar. It's just a coincidence that his son was hosting the awards. I have not seen Do Dooni Chaar; I am sure it's a nice, cute film but I don't think they match up to Peepli, Udaan or LSD(Love, Sex or Dhokha).

Best debutant director went to neither Udaan or Peepli but to Band Baaja Baarat. A 30% discount to Filmfare for hosting the awards in Yash Raj's studio is in the offing.

There were no Indians in the Best Playback Singer category - 3 nominations for Rahat Fateh and 2 for Shafqat Amanat nominations. I don't blame them. The kind of things Sonu Nigam is doing to his hair, they might just invent a Most West Indian style singer award soon.

Best Supporting Actor went to Ronit Roy for Udaan who went crazy for 20 seconds when his name was announced. You almost thought Shilpa Shetty had bought him for Rajastan Royals. Udaan is a brilliant film no doubt. But in no way was Ronit Roy better than Manoj Bajpai in Rajneeti

Udaan won a lot of awards in spite of being an independent film(and a great film, I may add) and a commercial failure. Desi award functions are generally not kind to small films and here is why I think Udaan made it. Salman Khan ->; Dabangg -> Abhinav Kashyap -> Anurag Kashyap -> Udaan. Geddit???!!!

The 'Popular award for Best Director' went to Karan Johar for My Name is Khan. Read 'Most Popular film in Germany/Pakistan'. See once Yash Raj, Salman, Farah et all are satisfied, you just have to satisfy Karan Johar. KJo was himself surprised on getting this one. Proof? He just said two lines in his acceptance speech and left!!! :-)

Amongst all this drama, one individual rose above all. He came in a crumpled kurta-pajama, accepted his award for Best Lyricist for Ishqiya and said, in chaste urdu - ek shaqs ka shukriya ada karna chahunga - Vishal. Unki wajah se mere gaane jawaan rehte hain. 

Thank you Gulzar saab for saving the day!


2 comments:

Biswajit said...

pretty incisive & funny

sanchit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.