Scary Movie Rules

So this trend was trending on Twitter - #ScaryMovieRulesToLiveBy. So I started scanning. And started laughing. Some of them were really funny. 


Below are the top five. And an extra one at the end. 

Singham follows nobody

Some may call it arrogance,some may call it attitude. I call it interesting.


Around 1.3 Lakh people follow Ajay Devgan including Farhan Akhtar and Karan Johar. Devgan follows nobody. 

The Casting Ouch

this time, involving Khosla ka Ghosla and Love, Sex or Dhokha director and adman Dibakar Bannerjee.

Me : A sucker for taglines!

I am a sucker for taglines. Taglines. One liners. Punch lines. Whatever you might want to call them. And I have always been. Since I was a teen (I am a senior citizen now, IMHO) I was amazed by one liners and their inherent awesomeness. My first tryst with the greatest one liner was an ad for Bajaj Eliminator. It went like this.

A page on the right hand side of India Today magazine displayed a diamond and said

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

Turn over the page and you would see the following specs listed under each other

150 CC
12 Bhp
0 – 60 kmph in 5 secs

Turn over another page again and it said

The new Bajaj Eliminator. WHY WOULD A MAN NEED JEWELERY?

I was never into bikes then but at that moment, I thought there was nothing better on this planet that could be said more stylishly. I came across more and more. There was an IBM Thinkpad one which went like this

For those who have arrived, but still like to travel. Awesome, Isn’t it?

Then 2 things happened which deeply affected my association with taglines. I started following Hollywood closely and I got introduced to Chandler Bing. Yes Chandler Bing of Friends fame. The relationship-phobic sarcastic guy who hates his job and in his own words ‘uses humour as a defence mechanism’. Chandler was brilliant with his one liners, a fact that made the character most popular after Joey and Rachel. He was sarcastic, witty and funny at the same(kinda like me). Sample some

1. (When Rachel asks him for advice)I'm not really good at giving advices. Do you want a sarcastic comment?
2. All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
3. (On being asked if Joey looks nineteen)Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen.
4. Someone to Chandler: Wow, you have really gorgeous hair.
Chandler: Thanks, I grow it myself.

Some of them are pretty normal but it’s the way Chandler says it makes them better than they are.

Hollywood is more about style AND content and sometimes more style and less content. More often than not, every Hollywood film comes with a tagline. One of the initial ones I stumbled upon was for Money Train

Get on or get out of the way!

But some of the most favorite ones have been

• Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.(Shawshank Redemption) What a line!
• Leave no man behind.(This one is all about teamwork from Black hawk down – very powerful, hits you once you watch this one)
• When the country was on its feet, he brought America to its feet(Individual glory - Cinderella Man)
• A hero will be revealed. (What if you have to choose between love and duty - Spiderman 2 – Only if you are a spidey fan)
• It ain’t over till it’s over (Rocky Balboa)

And finally to some of my own

• One day my dad remarked while having lunch – Aaj sabjee main lehsun zyada ho gaya. My mom said yes I will let the cook know. To which I remarked – Hope she learns the lehson(lesson).
• A friend of mine said – Man you are a racist. I replied – No I am not a racist. I don’t discriminate. I hate everybody equally.
• This one too went to my facebook status - I will smoke, I might drink, I will do drugs, I will rape, I will molest, I will throw wrappers on the streets, I will abuse, I will overtake from the left...but I won’t have non-veg cause Navratra chal rahe hain....!
• It seems the IPL is fixed. KKR is doing well.
• One line Michael Jackson would have trouble saying - I am not kidding!!!

Aren't Indians simply

awsome?

Courtesy : Rediff.com

Karan Johar

Once said,"2.6 Billion people know Tom Cruise. 3.2 Billion knew ShahRukh Khan".

Apparently the latter does not include a US Immigration Official. wink wink...

And you thought Deshdrohi was brilliant

Trailer is even more mindboggling in the rashtrabhasha. I was unable to locate the video though. :-)

Something I agree with

A Top Ten list of hotties who should stop acting.



P.S. : Some of them are not even HOT!

A matter of choice

On the nomination of Meira Kumar for the post of the Speaker, Congress party spokesman Abhishek Singhvi makes the following statement.

Congress would be creating a historical milestone by opting for the first dalit woman speaker. In the past also, Congress chose the first woman PM, youngest PM, first woman President.

Great! History has been created again. By the Congress party's refusal to accept the fact that they were always a 'crowd around a family'. My only question to him is - Did you have any choice, at least in the first two cases?

Sick!!!

I knew nothing.....

I knew nothing about the Babri demolition - Says Kalyan Singh

Close on the heels of Kalyan Singh's confessions on the Babri demolition, some other notable public figures are readying their confessions. A sneak peek :-

I knew nothing about cricket - John Buchanan and/or Shilpa Shetty

I knew nothing about 'getting elected from the Lok Sabha' - Manmohan Singh

I knew nothing about socialism(read NREGS) - Sonia Gandhi

I knew nothing about hair oil, only gel - Shivraj Patil

I knew nothing about the flight to Kandahar and Jaswant in that flight - L K Advani

I knew nothing about Hindi - Pranab Mukherjee

I knew nothing about unbiased reporting - Barkha Dutt/Rajdeep Sardesai

I knew nothing about whose son I am - Sanjay Dutt

Finally Aamir apologises

Isn't this google ad priceless?

I wanna be the PM tooo

Dear readers and countrymen, here are the possible candidates for leading our great country into the 21st century.

1. L.K.Advani
If Manmohan Singh can work as the (remote)PM and do a great job, why the hell can't I?
Claim to fame
Currently is on the 'I love Jinnah' & 'I did know Jaswant had a ticket' communities on Orkut.

2. Mayawati
If I can be number one in corruption, why can't i get the number one job in the country?
Claim to fame

1. Statues
2. Corruption
3. More statues
4. More Corruption

3. Sharad Pawar
We need a Maharashtrian PM especially since we have such a dynamic maharashtrian President.
Claim to fame
He is a Maharashtrian(Didn't I say that earlier?)

4. Jyoti Basu
The time has come to rectify the historic blunder.
Claim to fame
His leadership. His vision. His age. His walk. His talk. His coverage on NDTV.

I love the Third Front

The third front has been (re)launched with a new vigour and a new avataar, which will be pro-minority, pro-dalit, pro-OBC, pro-farmer and pro-poor(whatever that means).
What this means that some unemployed politicians dying to get some votes(and ministries thereafter) and prove their SECULARISM will get together at Deve Gowda's residence and watch him sleep. BTW, our former PM also has the ability to sleep with his eyes wide open. Don't believe me, check him out yourself.

P.S. - What the hell is A B Bardhan doing?

This is hilarious

...and also a revelation. A reasonable Pakistani. Must see

Thank you India Uncut!

How could you

Goldie Behl....how could you?

Whom do you believe?

India's most secular 24 hour English News Channel or India's number 1 website.

Hancock Vs Harman

A run of the mill comment from Bollywood makes up for a dissapointment from Hollywood. I saw Hancock today. After Spidey 3 and Hulk remake, this also comes as a dissapointment(I haven't seen Iron Man). The movie has an excellent first half with Will Smith clearly at his best. Just when you expected the momentum would carry forward(along with chicken nuggets and a cuppa coffee)....BAM...bollywood comes in with a superwoman, a centuries old love story and a hospital ending. Gawd!!!

As for Harman, how do you expect the junta to like you when even your girlfriend won't kiss you? LOL. Note the lines guys - "That's exactly why she didn't do the kiss. She couldn't make a concession with me because then other filmmakers would've accused her of preferential treatment. So we simply scrapped the smooch." Great!

Hit SMS

What did one Congress MP say to the other after SP decided to extend support to the UPA?
Pehle Lal Salaam, ab Dalal Salaam!

Source : Swapan Dasgupta's article in today's Sunday Times

Kuldeep Dubey

I saw this today after a long long time...laughed so so hard. This guy is really awsome.

India's best PM is

Manmohan, according to an NDTV GFK MODE poll.

As per the poll, 27% think Manmohan is the best PM.
22% think Vajpayee is the best PM.
19% think Sonia is the best PM.
But 62% also feel that Sonia is the 'real' PM.
Therefore, 35.74% think that Sonia is the best PM.
Hail NDTV!