Singham follows nobody

Some may call it arrogance,some may call it attitude. I call it interesting.


Around 1.3 Lakh people follow Ajay Devgan including Farhan Akhtar and Karan Johar. Devgan follows nobody. 

Bollywood, Box Office and ZNMD

The Box Office never ceases to amaze you. 

I have not seen Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara(ZNMD) yet. Plan to watch it over the weekend. 

After watching Delhi Belly, I actually thought Farhan and Co will have a tough task making money off ZNMD. Apart from the fact that it was made at a budget of mindboggling 70 crores, DB had raised the bar all of a sudden, in terms of story, screenplay and pacing. But after the rave reviews it got, Mayank Shekhar of HT going as far as calling it a Dil Chahta Hai for this generation, I upped my expectations. Still, for the movie to break even was a bleak chance, I thought. 

Bang comes this announcement from Eros Films, the co-producers. 

"Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara grosses Rs. 108 crores in 10 days,with Rs 86 crores coming from India alone". 

Zapped, aren't you? So what are your thoughts - a good movie making good money or a film which has many stars, a great story and great direction doing well?

Some thoughts on Delhi Belly

I did not write a review for Delhi Belly because it does need one. Its a landmark film, in terms of putting together a 'transfer of diamonds gone horribly wrong' with a group of three friends who are having their own issues, GF wise, shit wise, landlord wise etc. Yes, the movie has abuses, more so in the maatrabhaasha, which should not make any difference to the average cinegoer, because that is what happens in real life. 

 

And did not we want to see movies which are real in terms of story and setting; away from the snow covered peaks of Swiss Alps(YashRaj) or the streets of New York(Karan Johar)?

Considering the above, some of the feedback I got for the movie was extremely disappointing. 

"Its a vulgar film." 

 

Vulgar is a relative term right! I found Satyam Shivam Sundaram and Ram Teri Ganga Maili not just vulgar but offensive because they sought to hide the sleaziness of their Director beneath the weight of some religious figure. That is vulgar! Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla gyrating to "Main maalgaadi tu dhakka laga" is vulgar. Countless Govinda movies with double meaning dialogues is vulgar. 

Calling a Santro this-is-what-you-get-when-a-donkey-f@#$%-a-rickshaw is simply stating that a Santro is an ugly car. 

Right???!!!

The Casting Ouch

this time, involving Khosla ka Ghosla and Love, Sex or Dhokha director and adman Dibakar Bannerjee.

My Review - Tanu Weds Manu

I don't like Kangana Ranaut. I don't think she has a great dressing sense. And I totally hate that voice. Then the question is why? 

Well the trailer was promising. 

Okay the trailer seemed rocking. 

And I got swayed by 'Sanskar saare U.P waale hain hamari gudiya main' and Kanpur and Lucknow and so on.

TWM starts on a promising note. Dr Manu(Madhavan) arrives from London to India and is whisked away by his family and Pappi(Deepak Dobriyal of Omkaara, Gulaal and Dilli 6 fame)to meet a prospective bride aka Tanu(Kangana). Our innocent Dr Saab falls in love with this girl who rejects him in her own words and says - Abe kitni aag hai. Soyi hui ladki ko pasand kar liya. Tumse milne ke liye maine char neend ki goliyan or teen quarter vodka lagaye they. Fate, in this case the script, makes them meet again at a common friend's marriage.

Clearly suffering from a severe Jab We Met hangover, TWM has an engaging and interesting first half with the highlight being the chemistry between Manu and Pappi and the dialogues. The film looses steam in the second half with the script heading nowhere and in the words of Rajeev Masand, the lead characters turning into caricatures. A special mention for Eijaz Khan, who plays Manu's friend Jassi and new comer Swara Bhaskar, who plays Jassi's wife Payal. Both of them do their bits perfectly and are among the better things in this film along with Deepak Dobriyal. Madhavan carries one expression throughout and Kangana's character Tanu comes off as selfish and cunning instead of looking gullible and naive. 

Dissappointing! Catch it on DVD!

Bollywood needs mega blockbusters

to go global. An excellent article in last Saturday's Economic times. Among other things, it also tells me that Dev D made 25 crores on a budget of 5.5 crores. Suppa!!!

My Review - Yeh Saali Zindagi

This is going to be short and simple. 

Went to see as it was highly recommended by a friend. Plus wifey has a thing for Chitrangda. Too many subplots, too many characters(half of which get killed off), uneven screenplay, improper dubbing(Yeah!) and amateur acting too(at least by Arunoday Singh). A lot is there to put you off.

What works here however is the story which is gripping in parts and makes you wonder what the f#$@ will happen eventually, earthy dialogues(some of them are real gems) and fiiinally Irfan Khan, Irfan Khan and Irfan Khan. Some of his lines are the real high points of the film wich could easily have been edited by 15-20 minutes to make for a thrilling ride. Sushant Singh is perfect as the corrupt inspector and some of the supporting cast is also near perfect. Chitrangda is all dusky and sexy but has a problem emoting in hindi. She would do great in Hinglish films I guess while Aditi Rao hasn't much to do than other than kiss Arunoday Singh. No. There are no 22 kisses. Arunoday Singh is passe while Saurabh Shukla is awesome as the haryanvi real estate guy.

I am giving it a little more than 3 stars. Don't expect much and you will have fun for sure.

'The' Indian equivalent of the Oscars

So what was new at the Indian equivalent of the Oscars? Ranbir and Imran are better hosts, Rekha(Jee) has a great voice and Gulzar Saab has the ability to keep things simple. Apart from this, everything was pretty much the same. How? You might ask.....here's how!

SRK looked stressed out. Dietary restrictions for Ra.One are taking a toll. Plus a realization that he is widely disliked in Kolkata and might not be number one ever again.

Aishwarya looked plastic, spoke in English(surprise surprise) and turned even more plasticky while presenting an award to Madhuri.

Yash Chopra said something which no one understood.

Priyanka Chopra did a Madhuri medley and spoke without an accent.

Madhuri spoke with an accent. Which surprisingly, is nowhere in sight when she appears on Jhalak Dikhla Jaa.

Arbaaz was found sitting with a smile throughout the show wondering - What the hell did I do right that Dabangg became such a blockbuster? I will tell you Arbaaz. The one thing you did right in life is dating Malaika. Hold on to her!

Shatrughan and Poonam Sinha were sitting in the front row trying hard to hide their Oh-I-am-so-proud-of-my-daughter-bit. It's become kind of a ritual. Every year some filmy family, some new debut and some tears for their child's 'hard work'.

A jury consisting of eminent people from the industry could not decide which one is better? Munni or Sheila. So they gave it to both. In order to please both Farah and Salman!

Best Actor Critics award went to no one from Peepli or Udaan but Rishi Kapoor for Do Dooni Chaar. It's just a coincidence that his son was hosting the awards. I have not seen Do Dooni Chaar; I am sure it's a nice, cute film but I don't think they match up to Peepli, Udaan or LSD(Love, Sex or Dhokha).

Best debutant director went to neither Udaan or Peepli but to Band Baaja Baarat. A 30% discount to Filmfare for hosting the awards in Yash Raj's studio is in the offing.

There were no Indians in the Best Playback Singer category - 3 nominations for Rahat Fateh and 2 for Shafqat Amanat nominations. I don't blame them. The kind of things Sonu Nigam is doing to his hair, they might just invent a Most West Indian style singer award soon.

Best Supporting Actor went to Ronit Roy for Udaan who went crazy for 20 seconds when his name was announced. You almost thought Shilpa Shetty had bought him for Rajastan Royals. Udaan is a brilliant film no doubt. But in no way was Ronit Roy better than Manoj Bajpai in Rajneeti. 

Udaan won a lot of awards in spite of being an independent film(and a great film, I may add) and a commercial failure. Desi award functions are generally not kind to small films and here is why I think Udaan made it. Salman Khan ->; Dabangg -> Abhinav Kashyap -> Anurag Kashyap -> Udaan. Geddit???!!!

The 'Popular award for Best Director' went to Karan Johar for My Name is Khan. Read 'Most Popular film in Germany/Pakistan'. See once Yash Raj, Salman, Farah et all are satisfied, you just have to satisfy Karan Johar. KJo was himself surprised on getting this one. Proof? He just said two lines in his acceptance speech and left!!! :-)

Amongst all this drama, one individual rose above all. He came in a crumpled kurta-pajama, accepted his award for Best Lyricist for Ishqiya and said, in chaste urdu - ek shaqs ka shukriya ada karna chahunga - Vishal. Unki wajah se mere gaane jawaan rehte hain. 

Thank you Gulzar saab for saving the day!

4 reasons why Love, Sex or Dhokha is a cult film!

It is. A cult film. In case you have not seen it yet. Go check it out. Now to the hows and the whys.

Reason number 1 – The “characterless” Characters

Remember the last time you saw a Bollywood film, and you said – Arre yaar, aisa kahan hota hai? Or Shit yaar, Aise thodi hota hai!!! Whatever happens in LSD, actually aisa hi hota hai. Right from Shruti’s father(hypocrite and horny), to the girls in the dept store(one the silent types and the other the loudspeaker), from the item girl(willing to be exploited) to the pop star Lukki Local(waiting to exploit), from the TV producer(will do anything for TRPs) to the journalist(trying hard not to compromise on his ethics).

Reason number 2 – The Analogies

If you did not get the analogies here they are in the following order

‘Love ‘ Story – Nitish Katara Case
‘Sex’ Story – N number of MMS videos on youtube.
‘Dhokha’ Story – Replace Lukki Local with our very own Mika and the item girl with Rakhi Sawant. Put in a 24 hour Hindi news Channel and the picture completes.

Reason number 3 – The Acting

Need less to say, the nameless actors play their parts with great conviction and earthiness, right from Meter Down(guard), the actress’ father, both the girls in the dept store, the journalist, his boss, the item girl and the king of Pop – Lukki Local. Lukki Local takes the cake with his Punjabi accented English and his mannerisms. An actor to watch out for!

Reason number 4 – The Connection(s)

Dibakar Bannerjee does treat his audience with respect. All three stories are connected and only when the end credits roll the viewer realizes what happened when and where. In a space of 90 minutes, Dibakar Bannerjee weaves a tale of Love, Hypocrisy, Greed, Voyeurism, Jealousy and exploitation, all as seen through the invention we know as the camera.

A smashing film that gets the DESIBLAB 5 stars.

P.S. - I have not mentioned the sex scene coz it's not a sex scene. just like any MMS, it's shot as a private moment between two people.

My Review - Ishqiya

Finally I saw Ishqiya. And I liked it. And I swear I won't listen to other people's reviews and NOT watch a movie. Simplistic, crude, earthy and very very enjoyable, Ishqiya talks of Gorakhpur and Faizabad, locations which the Johars, Chopras and even RGVs can neither reach nor understand. All three main actors give top notch performances with Naseer taking the cake. His expressions in the song "Dil to baccha hai jee" are alone enough for an award.

I give it somewhere between three and four stars.

My Review - Kaminey

At one point of time in Kaminey, there is a shot of Charlie(Shahid) with a revolver walking away from the camera on a railtrack and a shit scared Guddu(Shahid) running away with a guitar held close to his chest. You get the feeling that ah well...this is the end. And Baaam! It's not over. Not until a good 25 minutes of craziness, negotiations and violence.

It is this unpredictability and the brilliant brilliant writing which make Kaminey and its characters watchable. Immensely watchable. Kaminey is about twin brothers Charlie Sharma and Guddu Sharma, who hate each other's sights and how their lives get intertwined by a simple twist of fate or should I say a simple string of a guitar! :-) Charlie is a small time thug who dreams of getting rich 'through a chota shortcut' and Guddu has a panchayati raj type 14 year plan to settle down in life with his girlfriend Sweety(Priyanka Chopra). Apart from having a lovable ensemble of ganglords(Bengaali, African and Ladakhi) and corrupt cops(Lobo and Lele) from the Mumbai Police Anti-Narcotic cell, Kaminey has as one of its highlights Bhope Bhau, a 'Jai Maharashtra' spouting local politician, played by Amol Gupte, writer of Taare Zameen Par.

Kaminey is a treat to watch. Because it treats the viewer with some amount of respect and leaves it for him to see, understand and laugh. Reminiscent of the Coen Brothers in parts, Kaminey is both visually dark and emotionally entertaining. After enduring severe human rights violations in the form of a Ghajini and Love Aaj Kal (M not even counting the Kambakht Ishqs and CC2Cs), Kaminey gives you hope that there is still someone in Bollywood who can make rivetting, realistic and meaningful cinema (Apart from the Johnny Gaddaar dude).

Shahid and Priyanka come of age and its unlikely that they will be able to better this one in the near future. Amol Gupte is a revelation as Bhope and Shiv Subramaniam is absolutely hilarious as Lobo.

Ramgopal Varma used to say - I am the anti Yash Chopra. I am like the Al-Qaida and Yash Raj is the United States. I guess that mantle lies now with the wonderfully talented dialogue-screenplay-story writer, music director and director Vishal Bhardwaj.

The anti-thesis of Bollywood and the future of Bollywood is here. And he is awfome!

Karan Johar

Once said,"2.6 Billion people know Tom Cruise. 3.2 Billion knew ShahRukh Khan".

Apparently the latter does not include a US Immigration Official. wink wink...

My Review - Love Aaj Kal

I understand its difficult to make a Lagaan again. But Swades was almost there. Repeating a Dil Chahta Hai was always an uphill task. But Lakshya wasn't that bad. Munnabhai II seemed like a gone case. But with Lage Raho Munnabhai, Raju Hirani was the last man smiling.

In the late 90s and early 2000s, there was a trend in Bollywood. Boy and girl meet, fall in love and they are not able to decide. To be or not to be. NOT ABLE TO @#$%^N DECIDE???!!! Compounded their problems was the fact that there was always some 'ehsaan' from the 'friendz family' usually the girl's. This plotline was everywhere, Saajan, Dil to paagal hai, Kuch kuch hota hai, even the iconic Dil chahta hai.

Love Aaj Kal takes this stupidity even further. A day after their marriage, on their honeymoon, Vikram(played by Rahul Khanna, I hope he was handsomely paid) is left in the honeymoon suite by the bride Meera(Deepika) who wanders off in search of X boyfriend Jai(Saif). Meera darling here, is apparently 'still in the 90s mode'. She has been unable to decide yet again, the previous occasion being the day of the wedding, right before the pheras and after the jaimala. Phew!!!

B grade romantic comedies in Hollywood like 27 Dresses and Made of Honor are able to convey what Director Imtiaz Ali tries so hard to convey and falters miserably. So there are cliches(pyaar ek baar hi hota hai, she is the one - you don't know yet) and the mother of all - Meera is waiting in puraani Dilli for Jai dear in the end because 'woh apni galti maan ke waapas aayega'. GAWD!!!

The best part of Jab we met and Socha na tha was the breezy dialogue and what you get here is downright corny and unbelievable. Sample this from Jai in conversation with Vikram - Yaar, ho jaata hai, sab plan kar ke break up kiya tha, ab kya karun?

Deepika looks great but fails to deliver her dialogues properly, Saif plays Saif, the guy who is always confused, just like in Salaam Namaste, just like in Hum Tum, just like in Yeh Dillagi....etc etc. He is unconvincing as the young Rishi Kapoor. Rishi Kapoor is so-so, not having much to say. His love interest, the brazilian model, is cute and subtle. The song placement is awkward and the screenplay is confusing.

Love Aaj Kal tries to be both modern and conservative and therein lies its biggest flaw. And it makes Ghajini look better.

And you thought Deshdrohi was brilliant

Trailer is even more mindboggling in the rashtrabhasha. I was unable to locate the video though. :-)

Something I agree with

A Top Ten list of hotties who should stop acting.



P.S. : Some of them are not even HOT!

Dev D - First Reviews

Anurag Kashyap gets an average of 2.9 i.e. 3 stars.

Rediff - Raja Sen Review - 3.5 stars
Rajeev Masand - CNN IBN Review - 2 stars
Taran Adarsh - IndiaFM Review - 1 star
Anupama Chopra's Review - 3 stars
Nikhat Kazmi - TOI Review - 5 stars(huh??!!!)

Disclaimer : These are the reviews which I follow. The rest do not matter. Taran Adarsh's review is just for cosmetic purposes.

My Review - Luck by Chance

After the dissapointments which came last year in the form of a Hancock or a Hulk, a Ghajini or a Rab ne(and please don't even get me started on the Tashans, Singh is Kings and suchlike), I was really looking forward to watching Luck By Chance(LBC).

In his review Rajeev Masand spoke about the opening credits sequence and indeed it is mindblowing especially the shot where Zoya's name comes. LBC is a part-serious part-hilarious look at the hindi fIlm industry. A place which is full of punjabi producers, kanpuria strugglers, overprotective divas, dumb stardaughters, selfish friends and manipulating magazine editors. Zoya Akhtar, having seen most of the behind-the-scenes action herself, narrates the story of Vikram Jai Singh(Farhan) and Sona Mishra(Konkona) beautifully. So you have Zafar Khan(Hrithik), reigning superstar walking out of a producer's film to play second lead in a Karan Johar movie, the flop actor(Sanjay Kapoor) of a big producer turning director, a yesteryear's actress(Dimple) scripting every move of her daughter(Isha Sharwani) to make her entry into Bollywood easier and the saddest but the funniest of the lot, producer Romi Rolly(Rishi Kapoor) who is trying to manage everybody.

There are cameos by almost half the fillum industry(Aamir, SRK, Abhishek, Vivek, Ranbir, Dia, Akshaye Khanna, Javed Akhtar, Shabana Azmi, Manish Malhotra) including a brilliant two scene cameo of Anurag Kashyap as a (DVD copycat) writer. The pace is somewhat slow but the gags and punches keep you in the loop. The entire cast plays their part to a T but the highlight is Rishi Kapoor as producer Romi Rolly. He is funny, cunning and emotional at the same time. The only weak link I found in the film is Farhan(who is unconvincing in some scenes) and the music.

Luck by Chance is an exciting debut by Zoya Akhtar. Not to be missed.

Also Read

Anupama Chopra's Review

IndiaFM - Taran Adarsh Review

Nikhat Kazmi - TOI Review

Best of the the 80s

On Rediff. I keep saying every now and then that the 80s were probably the worst time in Indian cinema. And when I look at this list which has Mirch Masala, Chashme Baddoor, Jaane Bhi Do yaaron etc on it, I feel like an ass.

Must see!

Chandi Chowk to China - A lesson

For everybody concerned. I don't agree with the premise that content is the king in Bollywood. Om Shanti Om was unbearable in the second half. So were Welcome and Singh is King. And the less said about Ghajini, the better. In the business of movies, exclusivity is the key. A fact which was recognized by some superstars quite early. Aamir, SRK and Hrithik have restricted themselves to one film a year, which ensures if nothing else their movies get a great opening and hence break even. And more or less, their roles are different in every film even if they are low on content.

Aamir leads the way in this strategy. A look at his last five films(The Rising, Rang De Basanti, Fanaa, TZP, Ghajini) gives you an idea of the way he has built his brand. Even though The Rising was not a super duper hit, it got a great initial which made it to break even(an added fact was that it was Aamir's first release in five years). Every movie since Aamir has been getting a new hairstyle and the media has been lapping it up. He has been living his characters through the media. The media's limited access to him has only added to the exclusivity factor. And the results are there for everyone to see.

Not many Bollywood commentors look at this fact but even SRK has been working on not more than two films per year. Since Paheli, he has not failed.

Akshay unfortunately has not learnt his lessons. His movies are neither high on content(Unlike Aamir's) and neither is he a great talker(Unlike SRK who visits every TV show and every reporter's house to promote his film). It worked for some time(Namaste London, Welcome, Singh is King) but now Brand Akshay Kumar is showing signs of cracking. Since any industry should not have a monopoly, a strong Brand Akshay Kumar is required to keep the Khans and Roshans in check. But the key question is can he salvage it?

Chandni Chowk to China - First Reviews

Initial reviews are not so flattering. Has this become the rule - big superstar, big film equals brain dead/mindless?